dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
