So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
His hands were made for my vagina.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Randomize
