Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
