can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
