Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
