We should be called the Road Head Warriors
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
