I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
