:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
