I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Randomize
