Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
