she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
i drank out of a bidet.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize