I faked an abortion last night.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize