You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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