my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
