question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
