So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
