Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
