nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
