I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
