I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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