and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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