Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
