Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
My dick has a subreddit
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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