On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
