he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
