I only kidnapped one of them. chill
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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