Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
