Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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