do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
