considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
