oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Randomize
