Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
