Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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