My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize