fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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