Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
either way he was missing a nipple.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Randomize
