somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
