So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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