they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
