You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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