dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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