bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize