we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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