Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
She is in my trunk
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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