Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
We need a shit load of segways right now
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
