i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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