Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
