she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize