Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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