Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
