oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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