i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
this must be what syphilis tastes like
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
