You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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