i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
