This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
