I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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