Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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