At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
