i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
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