no. you can't hotbox the world.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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