did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
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