5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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